After gaining a greater understanding of narcissism and doing the work to heal from your personal wounds, it is vital to maintain a number of issues in thoughts to interrupt the cycle and keep away from that legacy of narcissism, which Behary talked about. Meaning doing all the things in your energy to maintain your kids from having the identical expertise and growing up to be narcissists themselves.
One of the vital vital components is permitting your baby to expertise some separation from you, in keeping with psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.
“There’s a stage of kid improvement referred to as separation-individuation through the first three years of life,” Hollman writes in her e-book Are You Living With a Narcissist? “That is when the kid should work out his must really feel near an admiring mom whereas additionally growing a wholesome separation the place he can tolerate that he’s not all-powerful and grandiose.” In different phrases, enable your baby to develop their very own id aside from you, and to really feel secure doing so.
On the identical time, it is vital for fogeys to set limits–especially in the event that they’re fearful about elevating a future narcissist. Some dad and mom wrestle to self-discipline, particularly those that are people-pleasers because of themselves being raised with narcissistic dad and mom. However kids require wholesome limitations.
“The kid wants [his mother] to set limits in order that he is aware of find out how to relate to others in a manner that’s acceptable,” Hollman writes. “If he’s too highly effective, he expects that he’s entitled to greater than a baby ought to have.”